Not long after I arrived at work yesterday, the departmental secretary led the electrical engineer of the institute into my office. The engineer asked if I had placed a job order for him through the phone. I was caught totally surprised, as I have neither made a phone call nor any job that required his attention. He insisted that it was someone called Geoffrey Kong who left a message on his phone, but my colleague told him that there were four people called Geoffrey or Jeffery in the whole department and asked him if he had the right Geoffrey/Jeffery. He was sure that the surname was indeed Kong. All I could tell him was that I had not made the job request at all. The stalemate went on for a couple of minutes, but just as the engineer was about to leave, someone told him that a light bulb needed to be changed in an office which belonged to another Jeffery. Happily for the engineer, his trip to my department wasn’t a total waste of time after all.
昨天剛上班，部門秘書帶着電器技工找我，那技工問我是不是有工作請求。我給他弄糊塗了，我既無跟他聯絡過，也沒有甚麼需要電器技工幫忙的工作。他說明明是有個叫Geoffrey Kong的人在他電話留言，同事插嘴說部門裡共有四個叫Geoffrey/Jeffery的人，問他有沒有弄錯是另一個Geoffrey，但他說明明記得那個Geoffrey是姓Kong的，不會弄錯。我唯有說我根本沒有發過那個請求。這幕羅生門擾攘了兩三分鐘，電器技工正要離開時，有人走出來說有個辦公室要換燈泡，而那辦公室正是另一個Jeffery的，技工也總算沒白來一趟。
The names Geoffrey or Jeffery are actually not particularly common nowadays, but this department of 30 or so people was somehow predestined to employ four of them. It is indeed a tricky undertaking to distinguish the four of us when someone calls out the name! I thought the whole affair arose because of the confusion with the four of us named Geoffrey/Jeffery, but when I later asked the Jeffery from the office, I finally worked out the root of the problem. In fact, it was another colleague with surname Kang who has placed the job order, and the electrical engineer has most likely mistaken him as Kong.
Geoffrey或Jeffery其實不是一個特別常見的名字，偏偏我那個部門三十餘人就已經有四個，日常稱呼時如何區別也是一問學問。我還以為整件事都是因為部門太多Geoffrey/Jeffery而起，不過後來問那辦公室的Jeffery，謎團終於打開了，原來是同一辦公室姓鄺的同事打電話給電器技工，大概是對方把Kang聽錯成Kong了。
The saga should have ended there, but two hours later came an uncanny twist. A tool that hasn’t been used for a few months was not working, and as it still failed to function after trying a few times, I decided a visit to the electrical engineer was the only resort. I couldn’t help but to wonder how the engineer had the clairvoyance to know that I would have something for him to do and came to my office to ask me! So then it was my turn to go to his office, and I opened the conversation by saying to him, ‘My name is Geoffrey Kong. I do have a job order for you, after all.’
本來此事也非特別驚奇，但過了兩個鐘頭，一部幾個月沒用過的工具，我用的時候失靈，試了好幾次都不管用，註定不找那電器技工幫忙不行，我心想他如何會這般料事如神，預知我會有求於他，還找到上門來！不過這次就輪到我上門找他了，我的開場白是：「我是Geoffrey Kong，我這次真的是有個工作請求了！」
I read from the local news that 450 vehicles were caught speeding every day on the EastLink tolled motorway in Melbourne!
最近上網看到一則本地新聞，就是墨爾本的EastLink收費公路，每天竟然有450輛車因超速被罰！
This is indeed a staggering number! One has to wonder how so many people can be booked when people should be very careful with their driving. There are so many signs warning drivers of speed cameras along the whole motorway, and everyone knows that 3 km/h above the speed limit is already considered speeding throughout the state of Victoria. A near-perfect safety record on this motorway in the face of the high number of speeding fines has people wondering if the real purpose of the speed cameras is to make easy money from unwary motorists rather than to improve traffic safety.
這數字多得令你吃驚吧！這條公路早已標明沿途設置偵速錄像，而且此間對付超速出名嚴厲，時速祇消超出3公里便會開罰單，按常理駕駛者應會很小心注意車速才是，但如此多人受罰，而且此公路安全記錄一直良好，很多人都質疑偵速之目的，究竟是防範意外，還是籍罰款斂財。
(From a scientific standpoint, it’s simply illogical to set a definition for speeding stricter than the accuracy of the speedometers, which are allowed a 10% tolerance under Australian standards.)
（其實澳洲標準也祇規定車輛速度儀的誤差不可超過10%，這個超速定義比速度儀本身的誤差還要嚴格，根本就不合科學邏輯！）
Many other motorists were obviously not amused upon reading the news, and they left comments on the website saying how they have suffered similarly and taking a swipe at the government. The most interesting comment of all is probably the one coming from a car lease company (no. 14 in the list of comments) who said that it had received three infringement notices from one of their vehicles already this year, for 11th January, 13th January, and – would you believe it – 13th March; it was only 28th February when they left the comment! The company could only joke that the road authorities must somehow be able to predict that the same car would commit a speeding offence on that very day in the future.
不少讀者看過這則新聞後留言，大部分趁機訴苦水和罵政府的不是，最有趣的倒是有家汽車租賃公司說該公司的一輛車今年以來已收了三張罰單，計有1月11日、1月13日和3月13日（留言日期是2月28日，詳看留言第14號）！那個留言者感歎，當局一定是有未卜先知的特異功能，預早寄來罰單了。
This EastLink motorway does deserve some credit for its construction. It has a well-paved surface, wide lanes and very few bends that lead only too easily to unintentional speeding especially under light traffic conditions. Setting the speed limit to 100 km/h is such a waste of its utility in conducting large volumes of traffic quickly through long distances. What impresses me more about EastLink is the amount of artwork along the motorway as it adds some flair and variety to the landscape, but I’m sure those who have been nabbed by the speed cameras won’t be in a mood to appreciate it!
話說回來，這條EastLink公路真的建得不錯，路面寬闊筆直，鋪路用料一流，交通稀疏時真的往往超了速也不知，時速限制定在100公里實在太浪費其疏導交通的功能了，最難得的是公路沿途都有藝術擺設，令公路兩旁生色不少，不過那些被偵速錄像逮個正着的人，就肯定沒心情欣賞了。
Colourful footbridges
色彩繽紛的行人天橋
Creative artwork (as you've guessed, this hotel is not really open for business!)
公路旁的藝術展品（所以有錢也不能入住那家酒店！）
昨天剛上班，部門秘書帶着電器技工找我，那技工問我是不是有工作請求。我給他弄糊塗了，我既無跟他聯絡過，也沒有甚麼需要電器技工幫忙的工作。他說明明是有個叫Geoffrey Kong的人在他電話留言，同事插嘴說部門裡共有四個叫Geoffrey/Jeffery的人，問他有沒有弄錯是另一個Geoffrey，但他說明明記得那個Geoffrey是姓Kong的，不會弄錯。我唯有說我根本沒有發過那個請求。這幕羅生門擾攘了兩三分鐘，電器技工正要離開時，有人走出來說有個辦公室要換燈泡，而那辦公室正是另一個Jeffery的，技工也總算沒白來一趟。
The names Geoffrey or Jeffery are actually not particularly common nowadays, but this department of 30 or so people was somehow predestined to employ four of them. It is indeed a tricky undertaking to distinguish the four of us when someone calls out the name! I thought the whole affair arose because of the confusion with the four of us named Geoffrey/Jeffery, but when I later asked the Jeffery from the office, I finally worked out the root of the problem. In fact, it was another colleague with surname Kang who has placed the job order, and the electrical engineer has most likely mistaken him as Kong.
Geoffrey或Jeffery其實不是一個特別常見的名字，偏偏我那個部門三十餘人就已經有四個，日常稱呼時如何區別也是一問學問。我還以為整件事都是因為部門太多Geoffrey/Jeffery而起，不過後來問那辦公室的Jeffery，謎團終於打開了，原來是同一辦公室姓鄺的同事打電話給電器技工，大概是對方把Kang聽錯成Kong了。
The saga should have ended there, but two hours later came an uncanny twist. A tool that hasn’t been used for a few months was not working, and as it still failed to function after trying a few times, I decided a visit to the electrical engineer was the only resort. I couldn’t help but to wonder how the engineer had the clairvoyance to know that I would have something for him to do and came to my office to ask me! So then it was my turn to go to his office, and I opened the conversation by saying to him, ‘My name is Geoffrey Kong. I do have a job order for you, after all.’
本來此事也非特別驚奇，但過了兩個鐘頭，一部幾個月沒用過的工具，我用的時候失靈，試了好幾次都不管用，註定不找那電器技工幫忙不行，我心想他如何會這般料事如神，預知我會有求於他，還找到上門來！不過這次就輪到我上門找他了，我的開場白是：「我是Geoffrey Kong，我這次真的是有個工作請求了！」
* * *
I read from the local news that 450 vehicles were caught speeding every day on the EastLink tolled motorway in Melbourne!
最近上網看到一則本地新聞，就是墨爾本的EastLink收費公路，每天竟然有450輛車因超速被罰！
This is indeed a staggering number! One has to wonder how so many people can be booked when people should be very careful with their driving. There are so many signs warning drivers of speed cameras along the whole motorway, and everyone knows that 3 km/h above the speed limit is already considered speeding throughout the state of Victoria. A near-perfect safety record on this motorway in the face of the high number of speeding fines has people wondering if the real purpose of the speed cameras is to make easy money from unwary motorists rather than to improve traffic safety.
這數字多得令你吃驚吧！這條公路早已標明沿途設置偵速錄像，而且此間對付超速出名嚴厲，時速祇消超出3公里便會開罰單，按常理駕駛者應會很小心注意車速才是，但如此多人受罰，而且此公路安全記錄一直良好，很多人都質疑偵速之目的，究竟是防範意外，還是籍罰款斂財。
(From a scientific standpoint, it’s simply illogical to set a definition for speeding stricter than the accuracy of the speedometers, which are allowed a 10% tolerance under Australian standards.)
（其實澳洲標準也祇規定車輛速度儀的誤差不可超過10%，這個超速定義比速度儀本身的誤差還要嚴格，根本就不合科學邏輯！）
Many other motorists were obviously not amused upon reading the news, and they left comments on the website saying how they have suffered similarly and taking a swipe at the government. The most interesting comment of all is probably the one coming from a car lease company (no. 14 in the list of comments) who said that it had received three infringement notices from one of their vehicles already this year, for 11th January, 13th January, and – would you believe it – 13th March; it was only 28th February when they left the comment! The company could only joke that the road authorities must somehow be able to predict that the same car would commit a speeding offence on that very day in the future.
不少讀者看過這則新聞後留言，大部分趁機訴苦水和罵政府的不是，最有趣的倒是有家汽車租賃公司說該公司的一輛車今年以來已收了三張罰單，計有1月11日、1月13日和3月13日（留言日期是2月28日，詳看留言第14號）！那個留言者感歎，當局一定是有未卜先知的特異功能，預早寄來罰單了。
This EastLink motorway does deserve some credit for its construction. It has a well-paved surface, wide lanes and very few bends that lead only too easily to unintentional speeding especially under light traffic conditions. Setting the speed limit to 100 km/h is such a waste of its utility in conducting large volumes of traffic quickly through long distances. What impresses me more about EastLink is the amount of artwork along the motorway as it adds some flair and variety to the landscape, but I’m sure those who have been nabbed by the speed cameras won’t be in a mood to appreciate it!
話說回來，這條EastLink公路真的建得不錯，路面寬闊筆直，鋪路用料一流，交通稀疏時真的往往超了速也不知，時速限制定在100公里實在太浪費其疏導交通的功能了，最難得的是公路沿途都有藝術擺設，令公路兩旁生色不少，不過那些被偵速錄像逮個正着的人，就肯定沒心情欣賞了。
Colourful footbridges
色彩繽紛的行人天橋
Creative artwork (as you've guessed, this hotel is not really open for business!)
公路旁的藝術展品（所以有錢也不能入住那家酒店！）
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