Originally an innocuous lyric in Coldplay's song Talk, now this question becomes tricky for me!
During my time studying PhD, I had to work on a protein involved in the development of Alzheimer’s disease. The most common symptoms include loss of memory, disorientation and deteriorated brain function, collectively called dementia. I used to joke that I was bound to contract the disease simply through constant handling of the protein.
Everyone knows that memory is not the most reliable thing on Earth. There were occasions when I just became uncharacteristically forgetful, especially when too many things were happening in my PhD life and occupying my cramped mind. I jokingly called this symptom ‘juvenile dementia’, as opposed to the normal ‘senile dementia’ that generally occurs much later in life.
My jokes have now unwittingly become true – at least that’s according to my health insurance company. The company decided that I had a case of dementia because I made a claim for a drug commonly prescribed to dementia patients. They have sent me a questionnaire to elaborate on my treatment (see the picture). But, hey, I am too young for the disease, and the doctor who prescribed it was not a neurologist!
Perhaps this is a subtle humour on their behalf, trying to ask me, ‘Are you crazy enough to file some many claims in the last few months?’
But now I have a perfect excuse if I behave crazy or relapse into my ‘juvenile dementia’. I’ll just say, ‘Remember what the insurance company says …’
鄧麗君的「忘記他，等於忘掉了一切」，大家必耳熟能詳，最近我究竟有否「忘掉了一切」，我的保險公司就很想知道。
我有否「忘掉了一切」也非一朝一夕之事，打從唸博士時，我便常接觸跟阿氏癡呆症病發有關的蛋白質，而癡呆症最常見的病徵，正是記憶衰退、遺失方向感及腦功能退化，我打趣說，長期接觸這蛋白，他日病發必無疑了。
記性這東西並非時時可靠，我有時更會變得甚無記性，尤其是博士事務太忙，腦袋再裝不下任何東西時。我給這症狀起名為「少年癡呆症」，是以一般的老年癡呆症識別。
現在我真的「不幸言中」——起碼我的醫療保險公司如是想，那公司見我索賠的其中一種藥物，通常是癡呆症的處方，便如此大膽推論，還擲下問卷乙份（見圖），要我解釋治療詳情，可真武斷！我尚未年屆癡呆症之齡，況且開處方的醫生亦非神經科，那公司可算想像力豐富！
不過事情也未必如此嚴重，也許那公司想幽我一默，問我在短時間內索賠這麼多藥，是否有神經病。
而以後若有甚麼神經失常行為，又或是「少年癡呆症」復發，我也可為自己開脫，說道：「保險公司也這樣說呀……」
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