愚人節路邊社消息

本社記者在全球多部手機安裝竊聽器，以下節錄兩段耐人尋味的對話。

地點：香港

最近懲教署員工對一個失控的監獄感到非常煩惱。以下對話是用廣東話直接寫出。

職員甲：自從近排監入面幾個龍頭大佬死完一個又一個後，成個監嘅人作哂反，唔同幫嘅人仲成日開片，管都管唔掂。

職員乙：傳話北角嗰邊或者會調三個人嚟坐鎮，佢哋同出面d社團有好多勾結，一個係社團阿head，另外兩個係阿head 嘅左右手，其中一個有一排仲做過司庫，佢哋嚟到應該會好似以前咁實行強政厲治，震懾下班監蠆都好。

職員甲：不過我哋呢邊，無間房有地窖，又或者四千呎大，又或者三百萬豪華裝修，驚佢哋住得唔安樂，無心機做好嗰份工喎。

職員乙：好似聽講仲話，有兩個搞開起樓嘅會跟佢哋一齊嚟埋，到時咪叫佢哋搞下d建設囉。

地點：北京

兩位老師談到兩個學生爭做全校領袖生。

老師丙：我班那個洋洋，看他近來對做領袖生野心勃勃。

老師丁：怎麼樣了？

老師丙：今天上語文課，我叫洋洋朗讀課文，他把「熙來攘往」念作「熙來讓汪」，我馬上給他糾正了，可是他聽不進耳，老是說「熙來讓汪」。

老師丁：嗯，然後呢？

老師丙：糾正了好幾次後，他就跟我吵起架來，還堅持他沒有錯。他說他有真才實幹，做班長做得有聲有色，做領袖生非他莫屬，但那個熙來，只懂叫人家替他唱紅，做領袖生有何德何能？

老師丁：洋洋聽起來真的咄咄逼人，其實那個熙來本來也有點實力，不過熙來他搞唱紅也的確搞得過了火，偏離了校長的思想路線，我想校長也應該不會讓他選上領袖生的了。

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